The Wine Blokes

How much do you love champagne? Enough to go live in the champagne region and purchase your very own vaulted cellar? You wouldn’t have to buy fish anymore – it comes with its own trout and perch. There’s a moat, historic graffiti and sheep come included in the sale. There are also 18 ensuite bedrooms, so you could conceivably earn a decent income from the place and be totally self-sufficient for food.

There’s a tennis court and swimming pool to keep you entertained, as well as a dovecote with 1800 nesting holes in case you ever wanted to do that thing where you release loads of doves all at once (maybe during a wedding of ceasefire?). So for fans of champagne perhaps tiring of a life in the centre of London, just sell up your cramped townhouse and begin the life of a marquis just 75 miles east of Paris. Click here to go to the estate agent in charge.